To my father

Now is the time to acknowledge all that is gone before and no more. 

Grief for me is a deeply physical emotion

Rooted in love.

Breaking open our hearts so that we may give and receive love in new ways.

For me it changes 

forever moving – not a place to stay more a passage.

I believe that there is great strength and courage in the vulnerability of grief

 – and allowing the flow of what ever is – in that moment.

Over the last few weeks, I have heard mum saying Many things about dad – 

she spoken of the companionship  and the journey they’ve both shared 

of laughter and the hard times. 

And how much she missed ” just him” his presence. 

Saying he could be a grumpy old bugger  

but he was her grumpy old bugger

They got each other. 

It Made me think no matter what – if there is love patience forgiveness and a willingness to journey together –  

At the root of the relationship – all can flow.

A lot of my grieving has been done in the witnessing of my father dying – his transformation to another place, not always comfortable for either / any of us.

In this time I have reflected on a life well lived – what we shared and or what gifts we share with family and friends. 

A way of living – little ebbs and flows- experiences – ways of  being.

I sometimes found this challenging to visualise when visiting 

As the overwhelming emotion of sadness involved  in witnessing and honouring a passionate strong vital man move away in front of my our eyes. 

It brings me to remembering .

Remembering the precious things, dad showed me great strength physical and emotional – courage – a passion for life – and to pursue that which brings great joy. 

Determination that all things are possible, his version of the value in being creative and having imagination

A vibrant sense of freedom – a drive to explore and experience things that make you feel truly alive.  

To build a foundation. 

I carry this onward in my own passion and love for the sea and love of vast open spaces. 

In my own sense of freedom when on a high mountain top

And a pure joy in luminal spaces that lifts the spirit.

I saw his eyes light up when he flew his plane and sailed on water  when he moved and danced. 

Some of my most precious memories growing up 

Were dancing with my dad and listening to him call mum to join him

Watching them move to the rhythm of the music – no words needed here 

Just an understanding a 

synchronicity , 


To see them both alight was a real gift

to have someone that can dance the same rhythm of life  As you   

is a deeply precious gift. 

Now is the time to acknowledge all that is gone before and no more. 

I morn the passing of your light 

My inner vision is mister by grief.

Fleur Camille 2020 march 17th


Finally a few words taken  from the Lost words song by Robert Macfarland -“So enter the wild with care, Dear one, and speak the things you see, Let new names take root Thrive and grow Let the fern unfurl your grieving”

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